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The following is an excerpt from a phone call and then text messages between DM and PB   Saturday April 10, 5:49 PM Phone call:   DM: Hey Buddy! PB: Hey, what’s going on? DM: Not much. Just wanted to let you know that CC Sabathia is pitching a no-hitter. I know its bad luck to talk about a no-hitter, but CC Sabathia is pitching a no-hitter right now. PB: Dude, I hate you DM: Have a good day buddy. Hope I didn’t jinx him.   Saturday, 5:57 PM Text message from DM: Oops. Sorry. Might have been my fault   Saturday, 5:59 PM Text message from PB:  If u have trouble peeing it might be the prostate cancer. I wished it on u 10 min ago.   Saturday 8:57 PM Text message from DM: Are you in the city tonight?   Saturday, 11:18 PM Text message from PB: Ass hole. If he had cancer he’d have gotten the no-no   Saturday, 11:20 PM Text message from DM: Wah wah. Where are you? We are in the city for the only time this year at Kitty O’Sheas.   Saturday, 11:22 PM Text message from PB: Nah, chillin w/ Chaz @ the Fours in Quincy   Saturday, 11:23 PM Text message from DM: Understand. Hey CC looked great today. I am really proud of him.   Saturday 11:24 PM Text message from PB: Enjoy your prostate cancer
April 7 (from PB): Fourballs.com has finally returned! You know how you've been feeling like something's really been missing from your life lately? Like, no matter how much you try to make yourself happy, you can't seem to really be satisfied with your situation? Has that feeling lasted a little over two years? Well guess what. That huge, gaping void in your life was not caused by Fourballs.com's hiatus. It's because you decided to take that job based on the financial security it offers you rather than pursuing something you actually have a passion for doing. It's because you've unconsciously sabotaged every relationship you've ever entered into out of a fear of leaving yourself emotionally vulernable. So you have no one to blame but yourself. Boy, it's great to be back!
April 1 (from PB): If this blog entry had a title, it would read 'I Hate Bill James'. For those of you who don't know who Bill James is, he's the premier stats nerd in the world of baseball. The man owns an entire house devoted solely to his piles of stats and books full of numbers. I imagine the place as smelling like old people and having somewhere between 15 and 20 cats roaming freely at any one time. Mr. James' studies go well beyond the batting average and RBI as he has invented intricate statistics such as 'Win Shares' and the 'Pythagorean Winning Percentage'. Really sounds like the kind of guy that'd be a blast to go drinking with. "Hey PB, did you know your BAC was raised .04 by those 5.7 ounces of Jager you just sucked off that girl's stomach?" "No Bill, I didn't know that. And thanks for chasing her away for me, who needs a partygirl hanging around anyway." Funtime Bill was hired by the Boston Red Sox in 2003 to consult management on roster moves, and unfortunately their two championships since then have led some sort of credibility to Bill's nerdiness.  Not that the hundreds of other people in the Sox organization had anything to do with those wins. You're probably saying, but PB, why do you hate this guy, he just sounds like a harmless geek? And to that I'd say wrong, you sound stupid when you speak. He's completely missing the boat on sports. When a .250 hitter goes 1-for-4 in a game, that's not fun. When he goes 4-for-4 and knocks in the winning run then we love it because it's unpredictable, it's why we watch sports, and it's why games are played on the field and not on a coffee cup stained piece of paper buried somewhere in Mr. James' house. Sports are played by humans, not computers. We love to see players show emotion and do things that are unexpected. What about the leftfielder who was up all night taking care of his sick kid, or the secondbaseman distracted by the hot blonde in the third row, or the closer who was out till 5am last night drinking? These things will eventually play some part in the outcome of the game, where's Bill's precious stats to measure them? If Bill had picked up a glove instead of a calculator when he was younger and actually knew what it felt like to play a few innings he'd understand.
February 21 (from PB): Well DM, I think the difference between stealing signs and video recording an opposing team's coach comes down to written rules of the game.  It's only an unwritten rule in baseball not to watch the other team's coach closely.  It is a written, and therefore agreed-upon rule, that video equipment will not be used to record the actions of another team's coach. The Patriots broke a written rule they had said they would abide by. As for the 2003 Yankees, I don't think losing four games to two in the World Series to the upstart Florida Marlins is really any karmic reward. One could argue they got what was coming to them that year and the one after.  Just because they defeated your *cough* "pure blooded" Red Sox doesn't mean karma over-looked them.
February 6 (from DM): PB, thank you for your stirring "Cheaters Never Win" blog update. I hope there is enough room on the moral high ground for both you and Joe Buck. By the way, the 2003 New York Yankee's called, and they think you're a hypocrite. Yes, that 2003 Yankee team, the one with a roided up Jason Giambi (who hit 2 HRs in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS), Gary Sheffield, Andy Pettite and Roger Clemens. But I digress, hey, I'm a Pats fan, and I won't take anything away from the Giants. I think they were far better prepared and won on both sides of the ball. That happens in football, hey, it happens in all sports. But I'm tired of this portrayal of the Patriots as this big bad cheating team. How is this any different than the following: Players stealing signs in a baseball game (most baseball games) Batters looking back at the catcher before the pitch is thrown (most baseball games) Piping in noise to your stadium (Indianapolis) Turning the air conditioning on in your dome when the other team is batting (Minnesota Twins) Recording 12 sacks in the first 6 games for your undefeated team only to test positive for steroids (Shawn Merriman, San Diego Chargers) The above mentioned 2003 Yankees I'm not even going to get into the argument that many teams in the NFL were doing the same thing. But for some reason, this is the team that's vilified for cheating? I can't even imagine how bad it all would have been if they had won the game. I'll check in again next year on the blog.
February 5 (from PB): Superbowl XLII certainly proved why sports are played on fields, courts, and rinks and not on paper.  It’s always nice to be reminded why we even bother with sports at all: because they teach us a lot of lessons that can be applied to real life, while at the same time taking our minds off of real life.  They're like laboratories to study people. For the casual observer to this year’s Superbowl it was really a winning situation regardless of the game’s outcome.  Either you were going to see an historic undefeated season capped off by the Patriots or an incredible upset victory by the Giants. Unless you were a fan of one team or the other you really couldn’t go wrong, which is probably why it was the most-watched Superbowl ever. The Giants’ victory has left me legitimately believing in sports karma.  The upset taught us not to cheat, especially if you don’t really need it in order to win (c’mon against the Jets? You could’ve beaten them with Matt Cassell at QB).  It also taught us never to disrespect your opponent by running up the score because sports have a way of evening things out at the worst possible time. And finally, we learned that you don’t need to tank a game just to rest players for the playoffs, having respect for the game by playing out the season has its rewards. One more thing, most people don’t know this, but there’s a lot of old guys in New England who grew up in a world without AFC football. Without any Patriots around to root for, the closest team was the New York Giants, who incredibly, actually played in New York back then. So to all of you old timers in convalescent homes and VFW halls across New England, I say congratulations, even though you’ll never read this because you’re scared of the internet.
January 31 (from PB): Well if American sports fans aren't sick of Boston and New York yet, they sure as hell will be by the end of Sunday. But you know what I'm sick of? Players making predictions on games and media/fans/other teams being shocked about it. They happen pretty much every week now, their shock value has become zero.  And in case you haven't noticed, every prediction ever made has been of (oh my god!) a victory. Wanna know why? Because professional athletes have confidence. If they didn't have it then they would not have gotten to where they are. Between Tom Brady's suspicious ankle injury and Plaxico's quote "Hey, look how much fun everybody is having with [my prediction]," I kind of get the feeling players are starting to have some fun at the media's expense. And I like it....a lot. Writers will make a story out of the stupidest thing just to get their articles read, so I'm all for messing with them. I think more athletes should say and do things as decoys, just to get a rise out of reporters. Let's see how far, how low, how stupid these media weasels will go just to get their name in print. As for who I am rooting for on Sunday, according to Forbes magazine, "when a team from the original National Football League wins the championship, stocks rise, and when a team from the American Football League wins, that's bearish." Historically, this has had an incredible 85% success rate. So for the sake of my portfolio, for our shaky economy, and for Americans down on their luck everywhere, I will be rooting for the New York Football Giants.
January 3 (from PB): I'm cleaning out the closet for this blog entry. So random thoughts: I laughed when I heard Randy Moss say after the Pats' win over the Giants that capped a 16-0 regular season, "It feels good to do what no one thought we could do." Um, Randy, I'm pretty sure the whole world thought the Pats could do this after you beat the hell out of most of your opponents week in and week out. To perceive disrespect when there isn't any (besides from the '72 Dolphins and Anthony Smith) just shows Bill Belichick has these guys hypnotized. Hawaii football really let me down this week, I thought they were going to be this year's Boise State. Guess it just makes the legend of last year's Fiesta Bowl grow that much taller. The Winter Classic is the greatest idea the NHL has come up with in years. As a lifelong hockey fan who's lost his way lately, that was the most fun I've had watching hockey in a long time and really hope the league is smart enough to attract fans using that event without over-doing it. Please make it an annual thing, it's a nice reward for cold-weather markets where the sport belongs. Don't even let the Phoenix's and Florida's travel up to play in them. And while we're on the topic of hockey, here's an FYI, as of yesterday's mail delivery I am an official card-carrying member of the Hartford Whalers booster club. If you'd like to submit your jealousy please click the 'Contact Us' link on the Fourballs main page. Thanks.
October 3 (from PB): As the Patriots' spygate scandal begins to fade from America's ever-shortening memory, I'd just like to pose one last interesting debate before it disappears. Should cheating still be punished even if it doesn't affect the final outcome of a game? Cheating is done to achieve an advantage with the intent of changing the results in your favor. But what if you still lose the game, or if you would have won anyway without cheating? Is it still worth punishing the offenders who's cheating was not helpful? Should the degree of success determine the degree of punishment? It seems as spygate has been beaten to death by the media, and a few more weeks of games have played out, that few would argue the Pats wouldn't have beaten the Jets anyway, even without stealing signs. Is it still such a horrible offense if the cheating was simply done to win by more?
August 22 (from PB): I don’t care how un-politically correct this opinion becomes in the next few weeks, fuck Michael Vick and fuck any person or organization that tries to defend him. I find it 'mind-bottling' that there are actually people coming out in support of him. The Knicks' Stephon Marbury made this comment "We don't say anything about people shooting deers and shooting other animals, you know what I mean? From what I hear, dogfighting is a sport." Even if we say that dogfighting is comparable to deerhunting, and I am being very generous to you on that Starbury, I don't know any deer hunters who hold the deer's head under water until it dies.  I think before anyone backs Vick they should put themselves there in the moment, try to picture what it'd be like to be present, watching Michael Vick drown a dog as it struggles for its life.  If you can still justify his actions after that then go in the army, because your blind loyalty and complete lack of sensitivity will be put to good use there, and maybe you'll end up being a human shield for someone who matters.
August 9 (from PB): What's it going to take for TV producers to give Pacman Jones his own reality show? The guy fits the mold of walking train-wreck better than anyone. The equation is really pretty simple. The man has more money than he knows what to do with and has a clear track record of making forehead-smackingly bad decisions. He's been arrested six times in the last two and a half years. There's plenty of people out there with stupid ideas rolling around in their heads, they just don't have the means to pay for them like Pacman does. The only bits of reality shows I ever watch are whatever clips 'The Soup' happens to make fun of each week, but I think this is one I could really get into.  I mean, who wouldn't want to see a man throw away his athletic talent and money to live the life we all wish we could? Slap on a title like "Making it Rain" and this show can not miss.
July 23 (from PB): While cleaning out my brain this morning I found a few random sports thoughts to throw out: David Beckham's American Futbol debut on Saturday was quite a let down. But I probably will pay more attention to the MLS now that there's somebody playing in it that I've heard of. Let's say on a scale of 1 to 10 my interest went from a zero to a 1.27, with crowd shots of Victoria Beckham accounting for 1.26 of that.  The hopes and dreams of American soccer seem to be resting on a very shaky ankle right now.  I guess that's better than baseball's resting on an inflated head and shrunken testicles. I went to the Red Sox game on Friday night and actually heard some guy in the crowd whine this: "Well, we might be winning 10-3, but it should be 12-3, because JD Drew's hit was a homerun." Best team in baseball and still complaining. I thought 2004 cured you all of this, no? And finally I would like to tip my cap to Jon Lester taking the mound tonight. With newspapers filled everyday with stories of rotten human beings like Bonds, Vick, Tank, and NBA ref Tim Donaghy, nothing like a good comeback story to restore our faith in sports.
May 29 (from TB): If I hear another asshole call Derek Jeter overrated I'm gunna flip. Before I throw some stats out here, let me remind you that he hustles, every play, at bat and in the field...parents should hope their kids try as hard as Jeter. April 7th & May 4th - Those are the two days that Jeter was held hitless this year. 77/80 - He has been held hitless 3 times in his last 80 games 2003 - The only year he didn't score 100 runs (he scored 87 but sat out more than a quarter of the season) In EVERY other season he has played he has been in the top 6 in runs scored. Eight out of the last ten years he has been in the top ten in batting average. His average season is 123Runs/208 hits/24 SB's and he has won the gold glove the last 3 years.
May 24 (from PB): I don’t want to start a worldwide panic here, but there is a chance the apocalypse may be upon us. I'd like to ask you to kindly scroll down and read the last paragraph of my blog entry from June 8th of last year. It is imperative for the future of all existence that you root for the Ottawa Senators to defeat the Ducks in the Stanley Cup playoffs. If you want any hope of watching your kids grow up you will go buy a Daniel Alfredsson jersey right now. I can not stress this enough. Every goal Teemu Selanne is allowed to score could rip and tear at the very fabric of our universe. The only thing standing in the way of absolute anhiliation is Ottawa goaltender Ray Emery.  You're still not gonna watch a single game of the Stanley Cup finals, huh? Well, I tried.
May 4 (from PB): Sometimes the Boston sports world makes me want to smash my head through a glass window.  The whole controversy last week over Schilling's bloody sock was pathetic. Gary Thorne, who I still consider to be one of the top broadcasters out there, stupidly tried to make a story out of what was a joke, a 3 year old joke at that. And of course Curt Schilling, ever the attention whore, was happy to endulge him. But being forced to watch and listen to the whining over Tom Brady getting "caught" wearing a Yankee hat this week makes me jealous of Helen Keller. This is the same guy who brought three victory parades to Boston right? Or am I thinking of someone else? What other city demands that their sports heroes root for all the area teams? Think Paul Pierce gives a shit about the Red Sox? I wonder if Manny owns any Bruins jerseys. Professional sports are a business. He is an employee of the New England Patriots, a pretty damn good one the last time I checked, and he owes no loyalties to any team other than the one he plays for.
April 24 (from TB): Manny Ramirez makes me sick.  The man stands and watches his home runs like he's never seen one before.   His homerun on Sunday night put him about 3 points above the Mendoza Line.  That's right, Manny feels god-like when hitting a gawdy one-ninety-something.  I guess I'd feel like a god if I could make $105,039.39 per game for half-assing it.  Wouldn't you run out an at bat that you got paid approximately $25K for?  Manny Ramirez makes me sick.  He should make you sick too.
April 12 (from PB): The Cleveland Indians are playing a 'home' series against the Angels in Milwaukee this week because their own stadium is under a foot of snow.  A crowd of 19,000 fans showed up for the first game of the series, probably leaving the Brewers considering changing their uniforms to say "Indians" across the front to get that kind of support for their own games at Miller Park. But it got me thinking, what if there were no home and away games, if the league was just made up of 30 teams that all toured the different ballparks across the country playing each other. If you think about it, fans would root for teams for a better reason than something arbitrary like geography. You'd root for teams based on how hard they play, how respectable their players are, etc. If football did this then Cincinnati fans wouldn't be forced to root for a team full of felons just because they play half of their games nearby. It would also spread out the important games toward the end of the season across more cities so that even baseball fans in Tampa could enjoy the pennant race.  The obvious downside is you'd see less of your favorite team but think how big an event it would be those times they actually came to a ballpark near you.
March 22 (from PB): I'd like to pose a question to our readers and to the other Fourballs writers. Sort of a Reverse Ballbag. Why does it seem like good basketball players dominate games more than good players do in other sports? When you have some guys putting up nearly half of their teams' points on a regular basis, it seems like there's star players, and then there's everyone else. Is it just the nature of the sport since there's only 5 guys on the court for each side, or is it a new 'culture' of the game? In baseball it is hard for a player to really "take over" a game since he only gets about 4 at-bats per night.  In hockey or football it seems like the physical nature of the game keeps anyone from really breaking away from the pack. I'd like to know what people think is the reason why star players in basketball stand out more than those in other sports, or if you don't think this is true at all.
March 13 (from DM): I love this time of year.  I am positively giddy.  Can you be a straight man and be giddy…I don’t know…but I am!  Spring Training is really starting to kick into gear…nice…football free agency just started…nice…and the NCAA tournament starts next week.  Throw in daylight savings time and I’ll say it again, I’m positively giddy. Here are some predictions for the upcoming tournament… - No #1 seed is going to lose in the first round…it hasn’t happened ever, isn’t happening this year. - A #14 seed is going to beat a #3 seed.  This doesn’t always happen, but it happens quite a bit. - All four #1 seeds are not going to make it to the final four - A mid-major team is going to ruin EVERYONE’S bracket Who do I think is going to win it all…. You’ll have to check out my sheet and play in the Fourballs Madness of March Tournament. (Check the homepage for more details). Happy Balling Everyone…’tis a great time of year.  I wouldn’t blame you if you were giddy.
February 27 (from TB): Shaq, I hate Shaq, I have for a while. He needs to shut up.  He rips Nash, saying he is not MVP quality. Shaq, is bitter that he hasn't grabbed this award lately.  Shaq scores a shit ton of points, Shaq grabs a lot of boards, hell I would do the same if I was 7 feet tall. There is one huge reason why Shaq should have NEVER won the MVP.  He gets benched at the end of the game because he cant shoot from the line. That's it.  It's a huge part of the game, Hack-a-Shaq, that's why he doesn't deserve MVP.  Can you think of an MVP in any sport that gets benched at the end of the game? Could you imagine Larry Bird benched in the last minutes of the 1985 NBA Finals? Nash is an MVP.  He scores, he passes, he is a team player, he makes any team better.  This year his FG % is .528,  Shaq's is .530....I wonder what Nash's FG percentage would be if he was 7'1" and taking all his shots (read: dunks) within 5 feet of the hoop.
February 22 (from PB): The best part about running a blog is it gives you an outlet to vent when something happens that annoys the ever-loving shit out of you and your friends have become sick of hearing you whine about it. Recently I was informed that my company will be blocking all sports-related sites for the month of March due to what they believe is an excessive use of the internet for non-work related tasks. While I doubt Fourballs.com has gained enough recognition to be targeted by my employer, any major site that covers the world of sports will be.  It will be like living on an island, but not a fun one where the weather is nice and no one is around to bother you. It's an island where it's 40 degrees out and there's work to do. March is one of if not the greatest months on the sports calendar and I have to miss it.  There's Spring Training baseball to keep up with, hockey and basketball playoff races, and of course the crown jewel, the NCAA March Madness tournament. Toggling between scoreboards and work makes the first Thursday and Friday of the basketball tournament the two best workdays of the entire year.  Hearing the faint groans of coworkers in distant cubicles watching their brackets get busted early on is probably what I will miss most. So thanks a lot corporate America for starting your own sort of March madness.
February 15 (from PB): Man I really hate meetings, although some of the best articles for this site were conceived while spacing out during boring meetings. Here's some other random things I like to think about in there: - Look around the room and try to figure out who I could or couldn't drink under the table if I had to...and always decide I could outdrink any of them. - Try to guess what kind of car each person in the meeting drives and what kind of messed up things I might find in their trunk. Every meeting has that one guy who looks like he's got a shovel, garbage bags, and some lime in there. - If everyone in the meeting were trapped on an island like the show 'Lost', who would be the leader, who would be the annoying fat dude Hurley, and who would be Kate. There's never a Kate. - If I tried to slide across the conference room table like I was Bo Duke and it was the hood of the General Lee, would it be smooth enough that I'd make it all the way across?
January 25 (from PB): At what point does an expansion team stop being considered just an expansion team and expected to play like an established team? When is it ok for fans of the team to get impatient with the building process, and is the time frame different in each sport?  I ask this because I feel like the Tampa Bay Devil Rays really need to be kicked out of baseball. Just put the franchise, their junky-looking dome, and their hideous uniforms out of their misery.  Thanks for playing, but you get an 'F' for 'effort'. You haven't come close to being considered a Wild Card contender even at the All-Star break. The Devil Dogs have never finished better than 21 games under .500 in their now 9 seasons in existence. They worked their way up to that 'peak' in 2004, only to get progressively worse in each of the last two years.  I'll even throw them a bone here and not compare them to their cousins the Arizona Diamondbacks or Florida Marlins, because those two teams are clearly overachievers in terms of expansion success. So who do they compare to in the other major sports? In basketball (ignoring the 3 year-old Bobcats), the Toronto Raptors and Memphis Grizzles have each reached the playoffs three times in their first twelve seasons. That's perfectly respectable. Since the D'Rays joined the league, hockey has added 4 teams, the Nashville Predators, Atlanta Thrashers, Minnesota Wild and Columbus Blue Jackets.  It took the Wild just three seasons to make it to the Western Conference finals, the Predators have qualified for the postseason twice, and a check of the current NHL standings shows the Thrashers atop the Southeast Division. The Blue Jackets don't have much to show for their six seasons in the league except for a bright future with the likes of Sergei Federov and Rick Nash in their lineup. Even in football, the lowly Mario Williams-picking Houston Texans haven't been as embarrassing as the Devil Rays. Sure they've finished last in 4 of their first 5 seasons, but they did have one 7-9 season back in 2004. Hell, that's playoff contention if they played in the NFC. The Devil Rays management is clearly inept. Sure 38 of your games each year are against the Yanks and Sox, but that's 124 games that are not. This season will mark a full decade of terribleness, and their poor fans can't even say, "hey we always have the 19-- season to look back on."
January 19 (from PB): Recently there has been a backlash in the media in response to Mark McGwire's recent Hall of Fame snub.  Many writers are coming out in defense of the former Bash Brother, saying that the Hall of Fame should reflect society more by including and acknowledging its ills.  I've read articles that condemn the writers association for being "high and mighty" when it comes to keeping players such as McGwire and Pete Rose out of Cooperstown, that  on-the-field accomplishments should be the only thing considered when voting. The Hall of Fame now, as it should be, honors players who used their given talent and hard work to excel at a sport.  They did not need to cheat in order to ensure the outcome of a game would turn out in their favor.  Of course there is no hard evidence that Mark McGwire cheated, and that is the fault of Major League Baseball. Clearly there are many things wrong with the sport today, so why aren't we allowed to have one thing that celebrates all that is and has been right? Inducting drug users and gamblers would cheapen the honor that has been given to men that have actually achieved something great.  If you allow a steroid user's "achievements" to count, then there is no line of what is fair and what is not.  It basically gives science free reign to affect something that is meant to measure natural ability.  Draw the line now before sports slip any farther down this slippery slope.
January 9 (from PB): Ugh. I know the college football bowl versus playoff system arguement has been beaten to death, but this year's outcomes just seems to make all the computers and coaches that rank the teams just look like a bunch of jackasses. Three different bowl game results should convince the powers-that-be that a playoff is necessary, but obviously they won't. The first game would be USC's crushing defeat of Michigan in the Rose Bowl. This was our first sign that maybe the Big 10 (all 11 schools in it) wasn't really all that and a bag of chips this season.  Of course USC shot itself in the BCS foot by losing to UCLA, but a loss in a rivalry game like that one doesn't make me think any less of the Trojans.  In matchups with that much emotion involved anything can happen. The second result that should be a slap across the face of the NCAA is Boise St. shocking Oklahoma, and the rest of the world, in the Fiesta Bowl.  In terms of entertainment value, that game rivaled the snowy tuck-rule playoff game between New England and Oakland from 2002. Games like this is why they play them on the field and not on paper, and why we even watch sports in the first place. Boise St. finished undefeated, they did everything right they possibly could. For all we know this team is capable of beating the Oakland Raiders. But we won't ever know, we just have to take the BCS's word for it that the Blue Broncos are the 5th-best team in the nation this year. And of course the third bowl game that should (but wont) be the nail in the BCS coffin is the championship game. The 'undisputed' best team in the nation all season *cough*bullshit*cough* had its hat handed to it by a team that many 'experts' *cough*bullshit*cough* did not feel should be playing for the title. So now we're filled with so many questions rather than an answer to who the best team in college football is in 2007. If USC is two touchdowns better than Michigan while Ohio St is only a field goal better, should the final game have been USC-Florida? Would the Trojans win that game? Could Boise St beat either or both of them? And if not, wouldn't it just be a hell of a lot of fun to see the Broncos try?
December 18 (from TB): What ever the fine is for Carmello Anthony, it is too low.  I dont care about him trying to be a man or 'the man' or anything more than the child he is.  He entered a fight that he was not involved in and took his anger out on a Knick player that was being restrained.  In other words, he punched someone who had his arms pinned behind his back then he ran away like the little girl that he is.  This is an unforgiveable act of a child.  I would have rathered you dropped a record, or starred in a movie about a genie. F* you Carmello
November 21 (from DM): How about Michael Richards?  Dude up and lost his mind.  I think this completely blows the whole Mel Gibson thing out of the water. Thank god Newman wasn’t black otherwise it could have gotten ugly on the set of Seinfeld.  It is kind of surprising though that Kramer is so against African Americans, I never saw it coming.  I remember an episode of Seinfeld where he was addicted to Kenny Rogers Chicken…so he has that in common, which is nice. If you have a minute watch the YouTube clip of him losing it on stage. It gets a cringe worthy seal of approval. Then if you have another minute watch the YouTube clip of Kramer on David Letterman on Monday Night apologizing. Jerry Seinfeld was a guest and they teleconferenced in that racist Kramer. He starts talking and people in the audience start laughing. He has to tell them that what he has to say is serious and that they shouldn’t laugh…ouch. Stupid audience for thinking they should get to laugh when they go see Letterman. But this idiot goes on for like 5 minutes about how sorry he is. I haven’t felt this awkward watching something since I saw Kathy Bates naked in About Schmidt. The kicker of this whole thing is that the guys in the audience were 100% right. Kramer hasn’t done anything good since Seinfeld. I’m a huge Seinfeld fan and I’m taking this hard.  I haven’t been this emotionally hurt in a long time.  A comparable moment of my life is when I had to watch Wade Boggs ride around on a horse in Yankee Stadium after winning the World Series.  Just thinking of that just caused vomit to come to the top of my throat. Final thought…First Keith Hernandez, now Kramer…who’s next Elaine…J. Peterman?  My money is on the bubble boy.  He has a crazy look in his eyes.
November 17 (from DM): I’ve been meaning to get back to contributing something to the blog every once in a while…a big sports weekend, so I figured I would share a few random thoughts. • Big college football game this weekend, Michigan vs. Ohio State (and on a personal level Maryland vs. BC).  I have really gotten into college football this year, maybe because it’s a great sport to bet on.  I think that if the final score of this game is less than 10 and if both teams win out after this game, then this should be the national championship game as well.  Unfortunately I don’t think Rutgers would get any consideration despite their undefeated record.  They are a fun team to watch, but I don’t think they can hang with the elite teams in college football. • I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself this weekend now that the MLS Soccer season is over.  I have a funny story from two weeks ago.  At the beginning of the Patriots vs. Colts game at Gillette Stadium, the PA Announcer gave a shout out to the New England Revolution for advancing to the MLS Cup Finals and urged everyone to cheer them on next weekend.  I don’t think one person in the entire stadium made a sound, except for me, and all I did was laugh.  You’d think people would at least have the decency to boo.  But to be apathetic…that hurts.  Also, it didn’t make the main page, but I did suggest a base hit saying that the New England Revolution have now become the Buffalo Bills of the MLS.  That’s right, Taylor Twellmen as Jim Kelly!  See, no one found that funny. • Another funny story from Gillette, but this is from last year during the Pats and Saints game.  The Jumbo-tron midway through the 3rd quarter flashed an announcement that some guy John was celebrating 20 years being sober.  We were sitting in a luxury box and had been drinking grey goose and chasing it with bud lights…needless to say, we spent the rest of the 3rd quarter and all of the 4th quarter toasting to John and his sobriety.  Good times.  But I think it  says a lot that fans react more to someone being proud they are sober than to the New England Revolution being in the MLS Cup Finals. • I was sitting it a pool of my own drool the other day thinking about the NFL and who I thought was going to win the Super Bowl.  To be honest, I have no freakin’ idea.  It could be anyone from the Colts, to the Panthers to the Chargers to the Saints.  I’ll tell you one thing though, the Colts are quite beatable.  Yeah sure the Pats got beat by them, but I think the Pats beat themselves.  5 turnovers and a ridiculously dumb game plan where they abandoned the run.  To win a Super Bowl a team has to do 2 things well.  They have to be able to run the ball, and they have to be able to stop the run.  I’m not sure the Colts can do either in a big game.  But we shall see.
October 26 (from PB): Don't you hate it when people run blogs but then don't update them for over 2 months? I mean, if you're gonna start something like this and get me all emotionally involved on it, then don't leave me hanging for so long for the next update. A good blogger keeps his or her blog blogging at least once a week. The best are able to muster something daily. Even though the quality may suffer when you update that frequently, at least you're keeping it fresh in my mind so I'll stay interested. In closing, I'd just like to ask all bloggers out there in cyberspace to please just update your shit often, even if you don't have anything worthwhile to say. Thanks.
August 16 (from TB): This whole Mel Gibson DWI thing has got me thinking.  Booze didnt make him hate Jews (Unless some dude named Mordecai smacked him in the head and poored whiskey down his throat).  I've been known to throw a few drinks back and speak my mind, but alcohol never puts new thoughts in my head, rather it cranks some quiet ideas up to 11.  The following is a list of my best sports related drunk comments. 1) "Are you sure we are watching a DRays' game, it really looks like the Blue Jays out there."  (This drunken gem lasted about 3 innings on Patriots day '04) 2) "Jeff Nelson and other middle relivers deserve to be in the HOF" 3) "God sent us his only son, Don Mattingly, to redeem the sins of the world" 4) "Northeastern will win the beanpot this year" (2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005) 5) "Trinity College Squash is the best sports dynasty EVER" 6) "I hate the Red Sox and the Kennedys suck" 7) "Javier Vazquez will win the Cy Young award this year" (2003)
August 14 (from DM): All right, just remember where you heard it first…right here.  So here goes, the Detroit Tigers are NOT going to make it to the post season in the 2006 baseball season.  Furthermore, they are going to pull a Cleveland Indians and once again, be under .500 in 2007.  That’s right, write it down, tattoo it on your forehead, do whatever the hell you want with it, but just remember where you heard it first…right here. A few weeks ago, saying that the Tiger’s wouldn’t make the post season, would have seemed like an even more outrageous statement.  However, coming off 5 consecutive losses, people are starting to see some chinks in the armor.  And I’m one of those people, and I think it’s a lot more than just a chink. With 45 games left to play, the Tigers have a 5 ½ game lead over Chicago.  Those 45 games left include matchups against Boston (3 games), New York (3 games), Los Angeles (3 games), Minnesota (4 games), Toronto (3 games) and Chicago (8 games).  Ouch! The thing that is going to kill the Tigers is the thing that kills all other teams, pitching.  The Tigers have a dangerous combination of old pitchers sputtering out (Kenny Rogers and Todd Jones) and young pitchers who have never thrown this many high impact innings (Just Verlander, Jeremy Bonderman and Joel Zumaya). Tack on the fact that battle tested teams such as the Yankees, White Sox, Red Sox and Twins are all within 8 games of the Tigers and it spells trouble for Detroit.  I won’t go so far as to predict who is going to the playoffs, but I will tell you I don’t think it’s Detroit.
August 3 (from PB): I'm really hoping that ESPN's coverage of the World Series of Darts is a signal that the poker fad has finally run its course. I can see getting together with your buddies on a Friday night to play some cards and drink some beers, but watching people play cards on TV is about as entertaining as watching the national Scrabble Championships. What's next, the World Series of Crazy 8's? I don't care if the players have flashy names like "Chris Moneymaker", or if the game features the dad from Malcolm in the Middle against Ben Affleck's even less talented younger brother, this fad has taken up way too much air time and needs to be stopped. It's caused every channel to jump on the bandwagon and offer their own slant on poker.  I can't wait for CSPAN to televise Orrin Hatch (R) going toe-to-toe on the felt table with Christopher Dodd (D).  Should be a real barnburner. The absolute worst has to be the New York vs. Boston challenge on NESN.  I love that if these three random people from the Boston area can beat three random schmoes from New York, then somehow that's a victory for the Red Sox over the Yankees. I'm sure Big Stein is really sweating this one out. Bring on the darts!
July 20 (from TB): As of Wednesday morning, 4 teams were playing about .500 in the National League.  I wish I had something whimsical to say here but this is too depressing.
July 12 (from PB): Perhaps the best secondbaseman in the American League is Rangers' shortstop Michael Young.
July 10 (from DM): PB has some good points in his recent blog update, but I’m afraid he has a few pinstripes in his eyes and can’t see the big picture all that well.  First of all, we all know that fans are morons, and that’s how both Mark Loretta and A.J. Pierzynski made the All Start Team.  In years past the genius fans have voted a player in who hasn’t even played in the first half of the season.  The ever-fragile Ken Griffey, Jr. comes to mind.  But this is supposed to be the fans game, and the fans are supposed to decide who they want to see.  Obviously, enough of them wanted to see Mark and A.J.  So Mark and A.J. they get. Second, the target of your frustration Mr. PB should be against that moron Ozzie Guillen, the AL Manager.  He picked 7 players for the team and none of them was Liriano.  He was too busy taking pitchers from his own team like Mark Buehrle (9-6 4.02 ERA)  Or maybe it should be against the other players who proved that they were even bigger morons than the fans or Guillen when they selected Yankee 2B Robinson Cano for the All Star Team.  Yeah, that’s right, Robinson Cano, who almost has two times more errors (7) than home runs (3) and is being out RBI’d by Mark Loretta 37 to 27, not to mention the fact that he is on the DL!  Wow, sounds like an All Star to me!!!!  In closing, let me say that I agree that Liriano should be on the All Star Team.  I also agree that Loretta and Pierzynski are marginal All Stars, if All Stars at all.  But they are certainly more worthy than Robinson Cano.
July 7 (from PB): The MLB All Star game is a complete farce. What a freakin joke it has become. The league wants to give fans the chance to play a part in deciding who plays in the exhibition, but they also want it to mean something. So indirectly they have left home field advantage in the World Series up to the fans. Absolutely absurd. The selection process for the All Star game needs to be changed. There is a pitcher out there with a 9-1 record, a 1.99 ERA, and a WHIP under 1.00 that did not make the AL allstar team. Did not make the team. His name is Francisco Liriano, he plays for the Minnesota Twins in the deepest division in all of baseball, and he should be STARTING the All Star game with those numbers! But instead the league allowed fans to vote in Mark Loretta's whopping 3 HR's and 34 RBI and A.J. Pierzynski's 6 HR's and 29 RBI ahead of him. There are 11 players in the league with better numbers in those categories than Loretta and Pierzynski combined! I suggest the players, coaches, and media elect the all-star teams a few weeks in advance of the game. Then from those players already in the fans can vote, over the internet, who gets to start. If we can determine the 30th player by e-vote a week in advance, why can't we do the starting nine over the course of three weeks?
July 6 (from PB): So I am rooting for France to beat the hell out of Italy in the World Cup finals this Sunday. I know, I know, we're all supposed to spit on France for some reason while we eat our delicious, golden McDonalds Freedom Fries. But does anyone really know why we have to hate France? I mean, sure they're effeminate with those little berets and all that wine, but what have they really done that's made our lives any worse? Hell, they practically won us our independence against the Brits and then gave us the Statue of Liberty (delivered 10 years late, but that's just how they roll over in Europe). So maybe the World Wars last century just evened things up between us. When I watch the Italian team play I can't help feeling that they're the kind of guys who would hit on your girlfriend while you got up to go to the bathroom.  What is it about guys with long hair that makes them seem less trustworthy? Would you feel comfortable say, dropping your car off with a valet who had a pony tail? You certainly wouldn't if you'd learned anything from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. So France, you have a lone American pulling for you this weekend. If you win I will be happy for you for about 30 seconds, then I will fall back in line with my fellow countrymen in not caring about soccer until 2010.
June 26 (from PB): I really wanted to like the World Cup. I did. The U.S. sports world is so isolated that it's really refreshing to get together with the rest of the globe once in a while. Soccer is one of the few sports where the U.S. is the underdog, the forgotten stepchild, with no expectations and nothing to lose.  It's always fun to root for the little guy.  And the games look fantastic in High Def too. But these swan dives all over the field in every match are absolutely too much for me to take. I just finished watching the Stanley Cup last week where the Hurricanes' Erik Cole returned from a broken neck to play in the finals. Not paralysis, but still he had a broken neck, came back, and endured constant bodychecks from 200+ pound guys on skates for a week. That's just plain ballsy. Now they expect me to take seriously a sport where130-lb guys with pony tails pretend to get hurt just to get a free kick? How can fans consider this good healthy competition when guys are faking injuries to trick referees into blowing their whistles? When players in American sports are unwilling to play through even a little bit of pain (let alone fake pain) they're considered soft by fans, media, and most importantly, by their teammates. There's no way soccer is going to get past being a game for kids and mom's with minivans until there's some measure of courage associated with it.
June 16 (from DM): Three thoughts: First How dare anyone accuse Luis Gonzalez of using steroids!!! Here is a guy who before the start of the 2001 Season had a single season high of 31 homeruns.  So he goes out in the 2001 Season and hits 57 homeruns (that’s right, 26 more than his previous high).  In the 5 seasons since the 2001 season he hasn’t hit more than 28 homeruns in any season.  So your homerun production mysteriously doubles, and then quickly cuts in half. Hey, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck… I love how all of these guys deny doing anything wrong.  They are always so quick to say they did nothing wrong.  Well, in that case, ask Luis what he did RIGHT in 2001?  And then ask him why the hell he can’t do it RIGHT again?  Chances are a little truth serum and you would find out that what he did right was inject huge amounts of drugs into his ass. Second Soccer in this country has reached a crossroad this weekend.  It’s time for the US to shit or get off the pot, to put it bluntly.  All this talk about how good they are, and how the US has come so far, and how the MLS is going to make it are all about as accurate as Luis Gonzalez saying he didn’t use steroids if the US doesn’t show up in the game against Italy. If you are supposedly so good, and have come so far, then prove it.  My prediction is for another 3-0 debacle.  Two quick ones from the Italians, followed by a garbage time goal.  Please step aside and join the US Olympic Hockey Team and the US WBC Team on the sideline.  Finally How about them Heat!  Finally, they show up!  Granted, I think they might have a tough time winning a game in Dallas, but then again, I don’t see Dallas winning a game in Miami.  Also, a big thank you to Miami for not getting swept.  I picked them to win the series in six.  I’ve been wrong before, but to pick the wrong team and have them get swept?  If the US Soccer Team wins this weekend and Dallas holds on to win the NBA Finals, I’ll be 0-2.  So next year, if I have a perfect record predicting games, I wouldn’t be surprised if  people start to accuse me of steroid use.  Unless of course I can tell you all what I did RIGHT!
June 9 (from 'Peter'): To the Editors of FourBalls.com: I'm writing to express my feelings of great insult regarding your article "Ode to B.U." While I am a big fan of your site (my favorite part being the "Caption  of the Week"), I find this 'ode' to be very offensive. I do enjoy the sentiment of the ode very much, but I find the title offensive. Why? I am a proud 'community member'/alumnus of "The Real BU", Bucknell University  (see sassy looking ladies from March Madness at "The Place" - yeah, that BU!), and I don't want our name to be smeared in association of this other institution. All I am asking is that you revise the title listed on your home page as follows "'Ode to B.U.' (Boston University - the 'other' BU)" In an era when insults are rampant, "Extreme PC" (political correctness) is now listed in Webster's, Ann Coulter(1) is spewing forth colorful language about "the Jersey Girls," and people get offended by daily minutiae like when stoplights turn red, I, Peter, have decided to jump on the bandwagon.  Therefore I am now taking offense at the most minute of issues.....like this. Therefore, if you don't revise this title on your website by midnight tonight, I am going to issue a Fatwa on your four balls.  I shall issue the following decree to the 2 Billion+ followers of Allah:  "May Allah may open up one mighty can of whoopass on said four balls and turn them blue......forever."  (no 72 Virgins for you....that's all BullSh_t anyway, but it's a great recruiting tool for my young, misguided home boys!) Thank you for your attention to this issue - and may I compliment the winner of last week's "Caption of the Week" for his great wit. - Peter Footnotes: (1) Ann Coulter:  while her tact isn't the best, it makes for great TV/media and sucks in morons like Matt Lauer & Deborah Norville (I get all my news from Inside Edition). If you are objective about it, she may have valid points, just not great tact, but perhaps this is what made her a millionaire.
June 8 (from PB): As a fan of the old Hartford Whalers I'd like to thank hockey announcer Mike Emerick for giving the Whale a little "shout out" during Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals last night. He usually just annoys the hell out of me by getting all excited in the booth over a first-period icing call.  But his comment  "it's especially nice to see a Whalers jersey in the stands, very fitting that the 'Canes predecessor is represented here tonight" was greatly appreciated by those of us who still bleed green. I am a bit worried though about this disturbing trend of Sun Belt teams winning the Cup over small-market Canadian ones. I'm sure NHL commissioner Gary Bettman has a weasely little smile on his face, thinking his experiment with southern hockey is going well because the Lightning and Hurricanes are filling the stands. But I dont think their packed-houses in the playoffs mean anything, everybody loves a winner. Hell even the Florida Marlins have fans when they make it to the World Series. It's got to be absolutely killing Canada to see their sport being won by teams located in places that haven't seen a snow flake since the last ice age. If the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim beat the Montreal Canadiens in next year's Stanley Cup I am convinced the hockey apocalypse will be upon us.
May 30 (from PB): I once had a teacher say that "learning doesn't stop just because you graduate," and my Memorial Day weekend proved him right. Back then I was learning about the Pythagorean theorem and the fall of Communism, now I'm learning this: - Melted cheese works great in welding back together those burgers you broke while flipping them on the grill. Your guests will never know the difference! - "Close" really is good enough in Horseshoes (maybe I'll get to test the handgrenade part of that some day) - Comcast's Saturday night customer support staff sucks. The UFC fight I ordered cut out right before the  main event and they tried to blame ME for the fuzzy picture. Yeah Comcast, I've always wanted twelve angry drunks in my living room, so I loosened the cables that go to my TV. You caught me. - Anheuser-Busch makes better (and cheaper) marinades than Emeril Lagasse - Barry Bonds may have finally moved into second place on the all-time homerun list, but I've always known he was a "number 2" - Extra strength Kielbasa is more powerful than Extra Strength Rolaids - Any President who could set up four day work-weeks from Memorial Day to Labor Day would get my vote for life
May 15 (from DM): What an awful weekend here in the greater Boston area.  It rained all weekend.   Because of the rain, and the fact that I am a lazy bum, I spent the weekend on the couch. In between naps and bouts with internet porn, I had the following thoughts: -   I hate the Dunkin Donuts “Karate” Add.  I can’t tell you how many times I was ambushed by this stupid commercial. There I was half asleep on the couch, and I hear the jingle start.  I then spend the next fifteen seconds, desperately searching for the remote so that I can mute this abomination.  It was a race to get the volume down before that frumpy house mother yelled “Karate.”  I have never hoped that a product fails more miserably than the Dunkin Donuts Smoothie.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love Dunkin Donuts, but that “Karate” commercial makes me miss the “time to make the donuts” guy.  On a side note, the kids and the mother in this commercial have to be some of the ugliest people that I have ever seen.  Kudos to D & D for not only using beautiful people.  -  I also hate the fact that there aren’t any sports on TV during the weekend.  What’s the deal with that? (said in your best Seinfeld voice)  So Sunday afternoon, no baseball game because of the rain, understandable.  No NBA games because they want to go prime time, annoying and less understandable.  Infomercials only on TV and no Ron Popeil, inexcusable. But seriously, when did weekend sports get replaced by infomercials.  Who voted for this?  I thought infomercials were reserved for the 3:00 am to 5:00 am time slot on weekends.  I thought the idea behind infomercials was that the only way people would buy these crappy products is if it was offered to them when they were really really high?  But now, here they are, midday on the weekends.  This just proves that kids are obviously smoking way too much weed these days.  - All of this talk about the Yankees replacing Hideki Matsui with Miguel Cabrera is RIDICULOUS.  It’s like your Toyota Camry breaking down, going to a car rental place, and renting a Ferrari.  The audacity of the Yankee fans and Yankee Loving Reporters is becoming intolerable.  Just because you need something, doesn’t mean that you are going to get it. What the hell would the Yankees trade to the Marlins to get Cabrera?  Robinson Cano and Mickey Mantle’s atrophied liver?  Maybe Don Mattingly’s World Series ring and four really big boogers from Joe Torre’s nose.  Seriously, what the hell does that team have to trade?  Instead of talking about Torii Hunter or Miguel Cabrera, start talking about Reggie Sanders or Jack Wilson.  Either that or get used to Bubba Crosby and the corpse formally known as Bernie Williams patrolling the corners.
May 8 (from TB): This is what I heard from the Texas commentators during Friday night's Yankees-Rangers game: "The Yankees really havent picked many good first-round picks.  Well, there was Derek Jeter, but he is the 'gold-plated' exception.  Besides for that they are stuck in their ways of buying the rest of their players.  I guess Cano may be another exception, he is doing well. And really the only other good player to come up through their system was Nick Johnson, but he wasn't really that great.  Of course Soriano also, but they traded him." Shit boys, out of all the players you just named, you'd only be a third basemen short of the best infield in baseball. But they did need to buy a third basemen,  you may remember the one they got too as you are still paying some of his salary.  I can't say I'm surprised to hear unintelligent banter coming from a shitforbrains from texas. And they have the gal to talk about how smart they were to draft Kenny Rogers, a pitcher who was suspended for headhunting....camera men. And by the way, 'Roid Rage' Rogers may have been drafted by the Rangers, but you traded him away while he was still breaking into the league.  Just be happy you were able to buy him back years later. Oh and P.S.- I'll assume your forgetting that the Yankees drafted Bernie Williams was just an over-site.  And Jorge Posada too.
May 7 (from PB): I find it very difficult to take a sport like horse racing seriously when its most important event of the year can be missed by taking a 10-minute nap, which is what happened to me on Saturday.  ESPN had about 4 hours of pre-Kentucky Derby coverage on Saturday afternoon, followed by NBC which had another hour, followed by the actual race, which apparently lasted somewhere between 1 second and 9 minutes long.   Can you imagine if football was like this? It would be like if the Superbowl was settled by a single set of downs and you missed it because you had to refill your chili bowl.    Just from watching a few minutes of the pre-race show I was amazed that there were still that many women in the world named either Ethel or Mildred. At least I think that's the requirement you need to meet in order to wear one of those sun hats.
April 24 (from PB): Need to send an "atta boy" out to former New York Mets' star and current broadcaster Keith Hernandez for his comment during Saturday night's game against the Padres. Upon seeing a female member of the San Diego training staff in the dugout, Mr. Hernandez said, on the air no less, "I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout."    Is there anything that makes you sound more out-of-touch and old fashioned these days than a sexist comment? Apparently Keith didn't see the results of the Fourballs March Madness Pool. Guess he didn't know women are one of the most rapidly expanding sports' fan bases in the country. Hell, there's even a female race car driver out there. If they can handle an Indy car going 200 miles per hour, I think they can handle whatever F-bombs and dirty jokes that might be heard in a major league dugout.     Keith, I don't care if you are the 1979 MVP, Jerry isn't going to help you move, and I'm pretty sure Elaine Benes isn't going to want to kiss you anymore.
April 13 (from TB): If Brett Favre were an ice cream flavor he'd be pralines and dick.  Honestly, this guy is thinking everyone is holding their breath to see if he will come play again this year.  Does this guy have a TIVO?  Can we show him how much he sucked last year?
April 7 (from DM): Some thoughts on a Friday: ∙  I hate you Eric Gagne.  Nerve damage…again?!?!? You jerk.  My fantasy baseball season is screwed. ∙  Big Hockey weekend…here’s my Frozen Four prediction:  Doug Flutie will be in the house…Chris Herren will not be. ∙  Anyone else think that if victorious, BC will ask to borrow BU’s Beanpot so that after they drink all that champagne they’ll have somewhere to pee? ∙ Automatica Grammatica is NOT going to go over well in New England. ∙ Tiger will win the Masters by 3 strokes. ∙ I am going to get wasted tonight at the Pour House and ruin at least 3 peoples nights.
March 31 (from DM): I wish wish wish wish wish I was on the Baltimore Orioles. I would help Anna (Kris) Benson get back at her husband.  At least once, maybe twice. I've been thinking about this situation all morning.  Well not thinking of it like that, maybe later tonight, but thinking about it nonetheless.  If there was a "Crazy Woman" Olympics, who would medal?  We all know that Anna Benson and Jackie (Doug) Christie (if anyone is not familiar with her antics and they have a moment, google the name Jackie Christie, it will make your Friday) would be in contention, but who else?  Kendra (Antonio) Davis?  Michelle (Johnny) Damon?  How about Joumana Kidd?   She isn't crazy, but I hear she can take a hell of a punch, and with all these crazy women, there is sure to be a bit of a scuffle. Someone at a major TV network should look into this.  Think about it...you get that crack head Whitney Houston to host it. Pure magic.
March 27 (from PB): I just wanted to ask everyone to please recycle your bracket sheets this morning. Just because our ability to guess the correct winners in a sport we follow three weeks out of the year is garbage, it doesn't mean ours sheets have to be. Thanks.
March 24 (IM conversation): TB: That picture of Adam [Morrison] crying from last night looks like Luke finding out Vader is his dad PB: Noooo, thats imposssssible! TB: Obi Wan said you shot blanks! TB: I'd tap Amadala PB: Me too, like she's got a keg in those pants TB: grab on to her hair horns and take a ride TB: I cant believe I said 'hair horns' PB: with or without the face paint? TB: either way PB: yeah me too, even if she tricked you with the face paint, and it was her assistant sub-ing in for her PB: you'd still be nailing Keira Knightley TB: exactly PB: so you'd win either way TB: we need to blog this conversation PB: I agree
March 21 (from PB): I think I may have solved the current hunger problem in Cuba while laying on my couch watching the World Baseball Classic final on Monday night.  Normally I don’t like to brag when I crack one of the world’s mysteries in the comfort of my living room, but this time I can’t help it.         The malnourishment facing the Cuban citizens is in fact not due to a disorganized regime led by a ruthless dictator as previously believed. I've realized the Cuban baseball team must have some sort of control over the national food supply when I saw that they look like an entire team of Bartolo Colon’s out there on the field.  Couldn’t they have at least traded some of that food to the poor in exchange for some bigger pants?          Speaking of the Cuban team’s pants, and that’s called a perfect transition from the last paragraph to this one by the way, did they really need to make them red? And the team’s warm-up jackets too? We get it, you’re Communists.  We don’t need blinding, all-red uniforms to slam home the point. The armed guard at the end of your bench, ready to shoot any players even thinking about defecting, is enough to remind us.
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