Five Things I Hate About Sports
The Wave Nothing makes Boston sports fans look dumber than the wave.  Yes, that’s right the DUMBEST thing you can do at a baseball game.  It’s even worse than starting a “Yankees Suck” chant at a Red Sox vs. Tampa Bay Devil Rays Game in mid-April.  No one else on the entire planet does it anymore.  And for good reason, it sucks.  It isn’t cool.  It isn’t fun.  The only thing I find more annoying than this is the guy sitting behind you who asks how Nixon got to first base after not paying attention to the game for a solid five minutes.  Why wasn’t he paying attention?  Because he and his buddy were hoping the wave would make it all the way around.  News flash, it’s going to make it, and you are the one that sucks.  If you like the wave, do me a favor, crawl in a hole and die. Thundersticks Quite possibly the worst invention of the last twenty years.  I’d like to find the guy (or girl) who invented these awful things and follow them around for a week slapping these things together, just so they can see what it’s like.  They’re loud and annoying, and guess what, if Rip Hamilton is at the free throw line, you slapping those two stupid inflatable things together isn’t going to make him miss.  He’s way too worried about someone finding out he accepted money from UConn boosters back in college, than the fat guy waving two balloons at him. The Jumbo-Tron/TV Camera A lot of idiotic sport fans don’t think they’re night is complete unless they get their ugly mug up on the jumbo-tron.  What is it about the sight of a TV camera that makes people act like idiots?  Do people think it’s going to make them famous?  Or make people think, “Wow, that guy is a true fan.”  No.  Instead it’s going to make me think, wow, look at that jerk, he should probably take the face paint off and go to the gym. Faking Calls This is a new addition to my list, all stemming from the nearly forty hours I’ve spent the last two weeks watching the World Cup.  If soccer ever wants to be taken as a legitimate sport, than someone has to clean this up.  Yeah, I’m sure it hurts if someone kicks you in the shins, but it doesn’t hurt enough to fall to the ground and roll around like someone jabbed a hot poker into your nuts.  These guys make professional wrestling look real. WNBA I have an idea, lets take all the exciting plays out of the NBA, make it a game of poor formed jump shots, and people trying to pass off touching the rim as dunking.  Better yet, lets fill the league with 100 women that look like Randy Johnson.  And people are surprised no one watches?  No thanks, I’ll pass.
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