Fourballs Presents: Title IX - View With the Seat Down
Fourballs is proud to present our new feature, "Title IX". Columns written by women, for women, and edited by men. Enjoy.
Obnoxious Girls at Sporting Events Ever since I can remember, I’ve been into sports. I loved to play them, watch them on TV and talk about them. Any and everything was fair game. One of the first things I ever pinned to my wall (besides my New Kids on the Block poster and Kirk Cameron picture from Bop Magazine) was a picture of Michael Jordan. However, nothing ever prepared me for what it would be like to go to a sporting event in person and deal with my fellow ladies. The other day I was at Game 2 of the ALDS, Red Sox vs. Angels. I was sitting in my seat getting ready to watch the Sox do what they do best (that would be beat the Angels in the post season) when a group of four girls walked in and sat a few rows in front of me. Everyone in our section, me included, immediately took notice of them. They caught our attention not because they were famous or because they were really good looking but because they did the most obnoxious and annoying thing girls can do at a baseball game (or any sporting event for that matter). They made the opposite sex fully aware that they were here, single, and on the prowl. How can you tell they’re on the prowl? How about by what they’re wearing. Seriously, do you really need to wear the stilettos heels and a low cut/skin tight shirt?  And the shirt isn’t even a team shirt. Ladies, at least pretend you know that there’s a game going on. I know you don’t want to mess up your hair with a hat so try a shirt. Hey, Alyssa Milano has a line of clothing for women sponsored by MLB, so you can still dress like a tramp and root for your team. I’m sure they even have tight team shirts if you really want one. Just make sure it isn’t pink. Please, just don’t get a Pink shirt. FOR LOVE OF GOD NO PINK! But it doesn’t stop there. These girls had to pull the “Let me get up in the middle of the inning, ensuring all the guys around me see me, my stilettos heels and low cut/skin tight shirt, so that I can go walk around the concourse and see if I can cause a scene. Only to return 20 minutes later with another grand entrance once again taking all the attention away from the game.” Please, it’s an old move. Give it up.  But I think the thing that really gets me and drives me the craziest, is that most of these girls don’t even watch the game. I would assume a good amount of money was spent for those seats to see the game. But instead they tease the boys around them and act like they are starring in their own episode of Sox Appeal. I want to run up to one of them halfway through the game and ask them to tell me the score without looking at the scoreboard. I’d bet my Kirk Cameron picture not one of them would know the answer. My advice is this, if you’re going to a game, go and actually watch it. Enjoy it. Take in the experience. It’s one you will never forget. You can always strut your stuff and meet guys post game at the pubs, and most of them will be more turned on that you’re a true fan of the team.
The Real Purpose to MLB’s Rule V Want to know what the real meaning behind Major League Baseball’s Rule V is? Ever look at a Rule V player and go “Damn he is hot!”? If you guys haven’t, I am sure your girlfriends have! That is the secret MLB doesn’t want the public to know. The truth is MLB found that it was not connecting with the female audience as much as it wanted to. They were probably sitting at some board meeting thinking, “What could we do to get more females out to the games and interested in MLB”?? Simple, invent pink apparel and institute the Rule V draft! Get a hot “talented” minor leaguer up playing with the big boys, throw in a pink hat, and BAM! MLB has connected with the females of America. Take for instance past Rule V player Lenny Dinardo. There was nothing I liked more than Lenny in that Sox uniform and those tight white pants! Also, Johan Santana, another Rule V’er and another hottie! Man, have you ever seen his backside when he winds up to throw a pitch…ahhh. Seriously, why do more teams not take full advantage of the situation? Every team is eligible to steal a hottie from another team, but few do. Not only does this fill the seats at the ballparks but it also makes the girls want to shop for their favorite hottie’s apparel, and in turn, makes the team lots of money money money!! And isn’t that what it's all about? This Rule V thing has been working for years in other sports, but it’s just called something else. Take football, there it’s called Rounds 3 through 6 of the NFL Draft. Take New England’s current quarterback Tom Brady. At the time, talent was not what got New England to pick Brady in the 6th round, but his “hotness”. I bet Mrs. Kraft got right into her husband’s ear and said “Robert, please take this young Brady guy.  I’ll finally forgive you for screwing up our last three anniversaries. The chance to look at Tommy in those tight pants, all sweaty and bent over will do something for me you haven’t done in years.” Smart lady because today, the #1 selling jersey among female New England Patriot fans is #12, a pink one to boot! Another sport, well I guess you can barely call it a sport, but for this argument we’ll call it a sport, is the MLS. MLS should be considered the poster child for this “Rule V” thingy. These people know what they are doing!! It's been tough for the MLS to catch on in the States but whatever success they have had is from getting hotties on the rosters. You look at those soccer players and tell me they are not appealing to the ladies. Taylor Twellman is just gorgeous, not to mention those legs! Can we talk about these guys legs…strong legs mean…well you know what I am talking about ladies! Guys, ask your ladies if you don’t follow. And how about the newly aquired LA Galaxy player Mr Beckham…freakin lucky Posh Spice!  I would like to Bend it like Beckham, if again, you know what I mean. So as you can see Rule V for the MLB, NFL Draft 3-whatever, and MLS all know, to fill the seats and make money they need to bring the “goodies” to get the ladies!!! As for the NBA and NHL? Uhm…they haven’t caught on yet…but I am sure once they are made aware of these great ideas things will be changing. Someone may want to pass this article on to them for their reading pleasure.
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